Being Turned Away In Your Deepest Time of Need. White Ribbon Day Message.
For a significant part of my legal career, I have worked in what I believe is the most difficult area of law, hands down – child protection.
I had a break from child protection law, but now I’m back doing some casual legal work in that area.
As a new mother with an infant child, it has been very hard – to say the least – to read through the files of such horrendous violence and abuse.
Evil. Sickening. Human behaviour. Pure wickedness.
I tell you something.
You don’t need to go to the slums of India or the shanty towns of South Africa -
To find women and children being used as sex slaves or belted like monkeys in an unregulated zoo.
This sort of shit happens in wealthy countries, like Australia. In cities like Sydney. Melbourne. Perth.
In suburbs like your own.
What’s even more horrendous, is that in their darkest hour of need, women with their children, who somehow find a scrap of physical and mental capacity to leave a manipulative, cycle of violence…
Get turned away.
Because the services simply are not available for them.
Imagine, taking your children to a refuge, in tears, in need of help, desperate for protection from abuse…
And you get told, that you can not be assisted by that particular service, at this time.
I’ve been coming home from work, telling my husband that I feel like I’m watching a really, really, bad, depressing movie.
But then realising, that’s it’s actually…
Real Life. Someone’s Real Life.
It’s not often I write so bluntly about such a sad, sad, issue.
But to support White Ribbon Day on 25 November 2011, I feel it’s important to speak fearlessly -
And with a wake-up-call kind of realness, to bring what is still a brushed-under-the-carpet issue, to the surface.
White Ribbon Day in Australia is a national day of action, engaging men to speak out and step in, when men around them attack or insult women.
It strategically coincides with the International Day for the Elimination of Violence Against Women.
Not only, am I proud to support this call, but I’m proud to be part of an active blogosphere and social media network that is actively participating in Speak Out to raise awareness about domestic violence.
One thing I know for sure, and I can tell you with absolute certainty and confidence, is that:
There are people who work tirelessly to give women and children somewhere safe to stay, and offer support to help them heal, from violence.
And just, care.
The people who do this, need support too. Resources. And money.
Click HERE to buy this beautiful calendar NOW to support. Only $10.
I was called by the universe to write this post today. Firstly, by Wanderlust who is hosting Speak Out.
Then again, by St Michaels Family Centre who found me and asked me to support this issue through my voice and online reach.
Gorgeous Calendar That Signifies So Much
And thirdly, through the spirit calling from my own heart.
(I have been around this earth long enough to know, that three signs is a fierce call to action.)
And now, I’m calling you to action, too.
Instead of just speaking about violence, or writing about violence, or passively reading this blog post or other posts,
Let’s do something specific that provides shelter, counselling and healing to women.
If you have ten bucks (come on, just 10 bucks), buy someone this beautiful calendar for Christmas or just do a random act of kindness…
Instead of feeling outraged and sorry and helpless, about women being turned away in their deepest hour of need…
You can help to give them a place safe to stay, keep their children out of the State child protection system, support for recovery…
And most important of all, Love.
I have my calendar. Get yours here:
Just $10 HERE
2012 Colour My World Calendar
St Michaels Family Centre is a not-for-profit agency, with minimal government funding to support women and children escaping violence.
Through their passionate fundraising efforts, they created this amazing calender, made with love, that goes beyond just one, annual day of recognition.
Just $10 HERE
2012 Colour My World Calendar
Written by Lina Nguyen
Mother’s Love Letters © 2011
See also: The Power of Laughter
See also: Is Your Soul Dancing?
See also: Why Do Bad Things Happen?
23 Responses to Being Turned Away In Your Deepest Time of Need. White Ribbon Day Message.
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What a powerful post, Lina. I can’t imagine what it must be like to work in that area and deal with this day in and day out. I have a friend who used to be a family law judge, who also worked with abused children, and he retired early because it was eating away at his spirit.
I’ve bought a calendar. What a worthy organization. Will also promote them on Wanderlust. x
Yes, Kristin. That’s why as professionals working in this area need, we need support and looking after too.
THANK YOU so much for being proactive and taking leadership in hosting Speak Out.
And YAY!!! You got a calender too xx
You always amaze me Lina, your capacity to care, with such grace and love.
I’m crying while I write this. You are a very special soul, with enormous empathy.
I know we haven’t met “in real life” but I feel very lucky to consider you my friend.
We are not our bodies, nor our minds.
That’s why it doesn’t matter that we’ve never seen or spoken to each other, Vicky.
I am very grateful for our connection.
I’ve bought three of those calendars! What a fantastic cause.
Three!!!
Go Tanya!!!
I can’t wait to receive mine. They look gorgeous.
Are you giving them as a gift?
Hi Lina,
How incredible that this type of violence is happening in Australia – an educated country?
I believe that boys should never ever raise a hand to a girl/lady/woman…we have taught our boys this from a very early age. There is never ever a reason that violence is ok. I so cant get how people can treat someone that they love in this way!!!
You rock that you are able to speak out and share the calendar. A $10.00 calendar is a great gift.
Cheers
Lisa
You are doing a great service to our community Lisa, raising five boys who respect women.
Incredibly valuable. What a great female leader they have in their lives.
Hi Lina,
Yes I know it all too well…I worked in Women’s Health and Family support for close to 20 years of my life. I started to hate all men, I saw violence and abuse everywhere, my world view changed damatically. I had to get out, despite professional support and counselling. Male violence towards women is rampant and it is not a “class” thing.
One of the worst cases I saw involved a university lecturer. It is still a very hidden thing, women are brainwashed (by the perpetrators) that they deserve the violence, that they cannot exist on their own, that they are the cause of all the problems, they are useless….and the cycle continues.
One of the worst things is that violence during pregnancy and merely the act of watching violence as a young child physically changes the nerve pathways (the wiring) of the child’s brain. Scary stuff, it has to stop, it starts with parenting. Millions of dollars need to be put into prenatal and early childhood parenting courses and support/counselling and it all should be made compulsory.
Violent father, violent son (even towards the mother), violent grandson….without massive intervention and funding it will not improve.
In the meantime we all do our little bits…
Connie
That’s a lot of experience in the field, Connie.
You speak a lot of truth with your insightful comment.
(Violence towards a pregnant woman upsets me, incredibly.)
I’m glad you recognised that your world view was not positive and not reality – Obviously there are great men, fathers, sons, brothers, grandfathers…
The majority are not violent and that’s why we need those men to Speak Out.
Thank you for sharing your story and speaking out. Love and hugs. Here from the Speak Out link.
Thank you for sharing it with me Athena, and for letting me know you were here.
With Gratitude,
Lina
I’m not sure which is more upsetting, the fact that vulnerable women are being turned away in their hour of need due to lack of funding or the fact that this problem is so widespread it’s almost impossible to fund properly.
Hopefully campaigns such as this will help to raise awareness of the issues.
Sad, but very good point.
Thank you for stopping by and letting us know you were here.
With Gratitude,
Lina
Lina, are you aware that the first thing anyone sees on this post is the link to ‘plastic genitals and vibrating tools’?
I don’t think it was a deliberate choice but sadly I found it extremely offensive in light of the reason I clicked onto your post.
I applaud your work, but can’t accept the oversight. For some reason it just screamed abuse and wrong messages.
At any other time I might see the funny side – but not this time.
Mrs. C
Hi Mrs C
Thank you for your honest feedback, speaking fearlessly from the heart.
Like all bloggers, I write to express all of who I am.
I understand that not everyone will accept all of me, all of the time.
If on occasion, I unintentionally offend someone, then I will accept that person’s right to
exercise free will and click out.
With Gratitude,
Lina
Hi, I have to echo what Lina said here. I for one did not find the title of her previous post offensive. I assumed it was about sex toys, which I see as neither good nor bad nor having anything to do with abuse. I’ve written about the topic too, in a humorous fashion. Our blogs reflect all facets of who we are. I’m sorry you felt offence at that, but I personally don’t see it as a poor choice. I’m just grateful Lima is helping to bring awareness to an important cause. Peace…
I was thinking about your comment, Mrs C, and wanted to add one more thing. Reading posts about violence, especially for those of us who have read several back to back as part of Speak Out, can be triggering. This is especially the case for those of us who have personal experience of violence or PTSD. I noticed that after I read a number of posts I began to feel sick and anxious. My point is that it’s a topic that can stir up our emotions. I finally had to stop reading because of the effect it was having on me. I don’t know what your experience was reading these posts, but if you are having a lot of strong emotions come up, I would urge you to take some down time and do something soothing for yourself – some self-care ritual. It can be difficult to assimilate so much pain in one sitting. x
Hi Lina,
The fact that women are turned away is one of the worst things that can happen. the sad fact is, it takes a lot of courage for them to take that first step.
When they are turned away they feel, whats the point no one cares, going back to the abuse often resulting in even worse treatment, and more control by the male.
Hi Rita
In my experience and knowledge, most services will do their best to help women find other services, if they can’t provide the service themselves.
But it is true that we need more resources and services. There is a serious need.
Thank you for supporting White Ribbon Day, Rita.
With Gratitude,
Lina
It is so wrong that so many women and children (and yes, sometimes men as well) but mainly women and kids, need so much help. And that services are woefully underfunded. If buying a calender will make a difference I am all for it. But I believe speaking out is even more powerful.
Thanks for bringing attention to this. I’ll pop over to get a calendar or two. Not only is it a beautiful calendar but it’s supporting a worthy cause.
Thank you, Veronica. Thank you so much.
I got mine in the mail. They are really sweet and remind me to bask in gratitude.