To My Beautiful Child,

It wasn’t until I had to prepare for your birth, that I truly learned the lesson of How To Ask For Support.

Before you came into my life, asking for support was not one of my strong points.

And if I admit it, it still isn’t now.

Because of you, I have become better at finding strength in my own vulnerability and knowing how to truly accept support, and therefore receive, Love.

You are now aged 9 months. When the time comes for you to read this one of my Mother’s Love Letters, I want you to know that whenever you need support, it is always here for you.

For as long as I am alive, I will be here for you.

If you shall survive me, then these letters will be here for you.

And just as I tell you every night, as I lay you down to sleep with my Baby Bed Time Wish, my love for you is eternal and shall be with with you forever, because even When We’re Apart, I’m Still With You.

All you have to do, is ask.

I LOVE the VISA Australian TV commercials during the Commonwealth Games, with the theme of “support”.

I have previously written to you, about my and daddy’s choice to raise you to be an Independent Child.

As much as I want you to be independent, I have also written to you about first learning to be dependent.

When one can confidently depend on others, just as you do, you can then be independent and most importantly, interdependent.

You do not exist within our family, our community, or our planet, alone.

There is good reason for that.

Sometimes, I feel so hurt, so scared, because of my fear of other people, that I want to crawl away and hide from the world.

But hiding does not serve anyone. I don’t serve you, by hiding. I don’t serve the reason I came into this earth, by running away.

I certainly do not serve myself.

Before I became your mother, it was easy to hide – because nobody else relied on me. I would only ever let myself down.

And in those times when I didn’t love myself, I was prepared to disappoint myself.

Now, even in those darkest of hours when I don’t feel deserving of love, I heed the call to pick myself up, because of you.

I am not willing to disappoint you.

This means that, even if I have to expose myself to the risk of rejection, humiliation, disappointment, failure (perhaps even success)…

All the things that hurt so much -

I am willing to ask for help.

I have to ask for help.

In preparing for your Birth Day, I had to look deep – face squarely in the mirror – and ask some difficult questions.

How do I want to receive support?

How do I ask for support?

Who do I want to be in my support team?

Who can I trust to be there for me?

Am I worthy… to receive love?

There has been no other time in my life, when I have literally been stripped bare, naked, to surrender…

To pure vulnerability.

In order to know the magic and the miracles to be experienced on this planet: Child birth. The creation of human life.

To give birth, to you.

In times when I’m afraid to ask for support, all I have to do, is remember the great rewards I was given -  a beautiful, healthy, newborn child entering the world exactly as I had imagined -

when I was brave enough to strip bare and ask for love.

I love you, My Child.

Love,

Mummy xx

Written by Lina Nguyen

Mother’s Love Letters © 2011

See also: The 10 Creative Steps Behind Mother’s Love Letters

See also: New Life On The Road

See also: You Inspire Me